Reasons why you shouldn't compromise when it comes to your big day!
(For the people-pleasing brides)
I am in the process of planning my wedding this year for November 4th, and so far it has gone pretty smoothly! Let me tell you why I refuse to compromise when it comes to everything I want or don't want for my big day. The number one reason is that this is my and my fiance's special day and no one else's, so that means what we want goes, end of story. Whether you want a huge, extravagant wedding or a small backyard wedding, don't sacrifice your vision for your day!
This Day is for You and Your Partner, Not Friends and Family
If you are thinking, well it's also for all my friends and family members, you are wrong. Your family and friends are there to witness, support, and love you, true. However, the main purpose of having a wedding is not to please these people. Unless some of your family members are helping you pay, you shouldn't have to do anything they want regarding decisions for the wedding day.
We all have those family members or friends that want to just try to run the show or make decisions for you because they think they know what's best or they think they know what looks better. They forget that it's not about what dress looks best or what colors would be better for your theme, it's about how you and your partner want to look and feel. There is nothing wrong with asking your family and friends for help, but don't let anyone push you into deciding about your dress, the venue, decorations, cake, or anything you don't feel 100% sure you want, too. We love you guys, but most of us already have a vision for our big days, and the best thing you can do for us is to support that in any way you can!
You Don't Get to Do This Wedding Day Over
There are some moments in life you can never go back and re-do, and your wedding day is one of them. Sure, this might not be your last wedding, but, let's hope it is because who wants to pay for more than one wedding in their lives? Not me! I'm not saying everything has to be absolutely perfect, but I am saying that everything should be the way you and your partner want it because this is not a day you want to regret anything about.
My wedding was originally planned for March, but I've always wanted a fall or winter wedding, so when I thought we were going to have to have ours in the spring, do you think I started planning a light pink wedding? Heck no! I still planned on doing the dark colors that I have always wanted even though some people thought this was odd. Fortunately, we actually ended up moving it to November of this year, so no one will say anything about the colors now!
You Will Remember This Day Forever
Not only will you have beautiful pictures, but hopefully an amazing video of your wedding day as well, so when you go to watch it back and look at those pictures every anniversary, do you want to always see the table runners and decorations you hand-picked or be reminded of all the arguments and hell you went through just to get the decor you wanted? Even worse, you could be looking at things you didn't want in your wedding because you caved to what other people wanted, so now you have a lot of memories of a wedding that wasn't 100% authentically you and your partner.
When Spending THIS Much Money, Make it Count
It's hard to hold even a small wedding without spending at least $10,000, but if you are going to be spending that much money on one day, you better make sure it's exactly what you want! If you are not paying for your wedding, or you are having help, you might have to compromise on some things because we don't want to bleed our people dry. However, if you don't want to have to worry about people who are financially supporting your wedding trying to control or heavily influence your decisions, you might want to wait and have your wedding when you don't need help or maybe try to downsize your guest list.
Guest List Will Make or Break Your Wedding
Figuring out whom to invite is one of the hardest things about planning a wedding. Especially when you have people who you know might not talk to you again if you don't invite them. I'm here to tell you, they will get over it or they might not, but if you know you will have a better, stress-free day without them there, I think it's a good idea to leave their names off the list. This is one area where there should be absolutely no compromise!
Inviting people to your wedding should be something very well thought through because the last thing you want is to have guests who make your wedding day experience stressful. It could be friends, their dates, or even family members who maybe get too drunk and make a scene, who keep bothering you about different things all night, or maybe they make a scene because of some drama. The point is, no one should be invited if you think they will not be a well-behaved guest at your wedding. Yes, even family. Also, it's a good idea to have a designated person to help you get rid of any unwanted guests if some happen to be there.
What Can I Do to Make Sure My Wedding Goes My Way?
First thing is first, try to pay for everything yourself, so no one feels like they have any skin in the game. Remember, you're not throwing this wedding for everyone else, it's for you and your partner. Everyone else is simply there to enjoy your day with you. Hire a coordinator/planner to help you take control of the day and advocate for what you want on your behalf. Make sure your guest list reflects all of the good, positive people you have in your life that will support you, love you, and be well-behaved on your wedding day, even if it means hurting some feelings along the way. Lastly, when you're making decisions, the only time you should be compromising is for the budget and your partner, and everyone else can mind their own opinions about everything unless you ask for them!
Don't be a bridezilla, but definitely know when someone is trying to give you an opinion of what they would want or what they think you would like, and take it all with a grain of salt. Be kind, but always make sure you are making decisions that will lead you to have the best day of your life, not because everything turned out absolutely perfect (because I promise there will be some hiccups), but because you made all the decisions with your partner and the whole day is a reflection of you two and the love you have for each other!